Monday, July 20, 2009

JUNK FOOD JUNKIE

I'd like you to meet Miss Ede.

A week or two ago, some of our ladies at the church attended a luncheon for all those who have been regularly visiting the elderly and those who are not well and unable to attend worship services. We call our group WINGS -- Women in God's Service.

We were all surprised to see EDE at the luncheon.
She is 103 and as sharp as a razor.

We were even more surprised when donning a black wig and a peasant shirt, she took over the microphone and regaled us with the following poem -- all perfectly memorized and delivered with enthusiasm and actions. I just wish I'd had a video of her. It was amazing.



A JUNK FOOD JUNKIE


I love that organic cookin', and I always ask for more.

They call me Miz Natural down at the health food store.

I only eat good sea salt; white sugar don't touch my lips.

And my friends is always askin' to take 'em on macrobiotic trips.


But at night I take out my strong box that I keep under lock and key

And I take it off to my closet where nobody else can see

I open the door so slowly, take a peek up north and south

Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie and I pop it in my mouth

.

In the daytime I'm Miz Natural, just as healthy as I can be,

But at night I'm a junk food junkie

So please have pity on me, oh please have pity on me!


At lunch time you can find me at the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar

Just eatin' plain white yogurt from a hand thrown pottery jar

And drinkin' fresh pressed cider with a carrot stick for dessert,

And wipin' my face in a natural way on the sleeve of my peasant shirt.


But when the clock strikes midnight and I'm all by myself

I work the combination of my secret hide-away shelf.

Then take out some Fritos corn chips, Dr. Pepper and an Eskimo Pie

Then I sit back in expectation of a genuine junk food high.


In the daytime I'm Miz Natural, just as healthy as I can be,

But at night I'm a junk food junkie

So please have pity on me, oh please have pity on me!


Now the folks down at the commune, they think I'm pretty neat.

I don't know nothin' 'bout arts 'n crafts, but I give them something to eat.

I'm a friend of Ewell Gibbons and I use homegrown good spice

And I've got an ole Grecian pottery jar filled up with raw, brown rice.


But lately folks I've been spotted with a Big Mac on my breath,

And I run into Colonel Sanders with my face as white as death.

But some day I'm afraid they'll find me spread out upon my bed,

With a handful of Pringles 'tater chips and a Ding Dong by my head.


In the daytime I'm Miz Natural, just as healthy as I can be,

But at night I'm a junk food junkie

So please have pity on me, oh please have pity on me!




Ede, the Junk Food Junkie

What a treat! And how we laughed!




13 comments:

Jose said...

This has got to have been priceless. I loved the poem too, specially since I am a junk food junkie too.

claude said...

Google transltot does not translate very correct what Miss Ede told you. She looks very good.

kaybee said...

Hmm.. I wonder how many of us are like the person in that poem?! If that has been Miss Ede's way of life, it's certainly worked for her - 103 years young - wow!

Shammickite said...

That's totally hilarious! Good for Miss Ede!

Rosy said...

This is really cute and funny and how so true does this nearly fit me. ha ha ha

103 years old? She sure don't look that old..sounds like she has a great sense of humor.

Sandy said...

ahhh how charming that must have been! how fun.

RuneE said...

She must be quite something - that strongbox must have done wonders.

And I liked her name...

PS Thank you for the comment - I agree.

Abe Lincoln said...

Reading this was a real treat for me. Patty liked it too.
Pick a Peck of Pixels

Patty said...

Hi, this is Patty. Loved the poem, glad there are people like Ede around. Wish there were more of them. I bet she keeps the people around her in stitches all the time. With her sense of humor, that is no doubt what has helped her reach 103.
I would have loved to have seen a video of her reciting that poem.

Granny on the Web said...

What a lovely endearing post. I love Ede instantly for her lovely sense of fun. 103 is a great age, and to still have her capabilities as they are is magnificent.

Love Granny

kimberly said...

we can not deny that junk food can be delicious and catch our attention specially when we go out with some relatives or friends. But the junk food can be harmful for our welfare or health, resulting in a obesity or even affecting our sexual development. So the relation ships are affected too. We need to change eating habits,start exercising frequently and if you have erectil dysfunctions the better alternative could be buy viagra. But the most important thing is take care our health.

javieth said...

I think the obesity is very danger for everybody, is like a pump that can explot any time. So is necesary to take care exercising and taking good and healthy food and stop eating junk food for ever!!!!. The life is too short, so we need to take care of us every single day for enjoy the things that the life gave to us. I bought my house through costa rica homes for sale and i enjoy it every day.

Anil Kumar said...

I am writing to find out if I can get permission to use this poem as a reading text for class VII book produced commercially for use in Indian schools. If yes, what terms and conditions govern such use?

Many thanks

Anil

India